This past Sunday was the birthday of my mother, who passed away in 2019. For the past three years, I would find myself crying the whole week before because I just knew my family would gather together to remember her. I realized that I was still grieving. And it did not help that my best-friend's birthday is 6 days later. She passed away in 2021 the day after my birthday.
I realized earlier this year that I did not want to celebrate on my mom's birthday. I had decided to just remember her in my own way. Then I got a call from my Auntie and my son asking what we were going to do to celebrate her. I told them I didn't have plans but if they wanted to do something to go ahead. Now mind you I had to go over to my sister's house to take my great nephew home. Well, let me just tell you that we ended up letting go of balloons and offering up a short sweet prayer.
On my way home, I asked God why I cried the week before her birthday. The Holy Spirit reminded me how I feel about birthdays. I have placed the celebration of birthdays high on my list. And because of the love I have for my mom, since she's not here to celebrate, I literally become emotionally sad. My feelings about birthdays are another topic and we're not going there, right now. LOL. When conversing with a dear sister of mine, I asked her if I was heartless because I didn't want to celebrate my mother's birthday. She said no. She stated I should do what is good for me.
So, you see, my triggers are their birthdays. I never thought about it like that.
What things put you on an emotional rollercoaster? What triggers your anxiety, crying spells, depressions, or feelings of wanting to throw life in the trash?
What things put you on an emotional rollercoaster? What triggers your anxiety?
Know your triggers.